This match stars super-lightweight trainee Fun Size Frank, a young greenhorn who’s been learning the ropes from my buddy and world-traveled professional, Killer Kris. But brother, there’s a mighty big difference between learning the ropes and surviving them when Killer Kris decides the lesson is over.

For 29 punishing minutes, Kris toys with his prey. He offers Frank free shots at those rock-hard abs. He stands there and practically begs the slim blonde rookie to bodyslam him, knowing full well Frank doesn’t have the horsepower to get the job done. And once Kris has had his amusement, the demolition begins. Bodyslams, suplexes, backbreakers and an atomic drop send the cute rookie in those classic white knee-high socks with the red stripe crashing around the ring.

Then Killer Kris turns downright vicious. Multiple piledrivers and a tombstone leave Frank rattled, while three across-the-shoulder racks bend that lightweight frame across the veteran’s powerful back. By this point it’s an exhibition of what a seasoned heel can do to an overmatched rookie. A crushing elbow drop to the sternum puts the exclamation point on Frank’s miserable afternoon.

And Killer Kris enjoys every second of it.

The veteran struts, taunts and takes his time dismantling the rookie jobber before adding one final indignity: stripping the white boots from his fallen opponent and keeping them as trophies. Fans who like their squash matches old-school, mean and completely one-sided are going to eat this one alive.

TOTAL RUN-TIME: 29 minutes, 33 seconds