Blake Starr vs. Ricky Vegas (Night Before Christmas)
T’was the party before Christmas and at the open bar,
Someone got drunk, and his name is Blake Starr.
For this past year he’d been bad, and even been mean,
So Santa sent him an elf to frighten his dream.
Our young wrestler was wasted and didn’t act pure,
So the elf gave him a beating, that was for sure.
For our elf has a mean streak and likes to abuse,
And we had a drunk who really needed to lose.
Our drunk was so wasted, he couldn’t resist
And our elf liked to punish and use his strong fist.
Young Blake had to find out that this was no dream,
Some elves can be so nice, and some can be mean.
Tortured and beaten, Blake surely was hurt,
Why did I drink so much, he often did blurt.
The elf sure was evil, and he liked to choke,
He liked to cause pressure, Blake’s neck almost broke.
For the season is with us to all deck the halls,
Just remember our cute elf likes to squeeze Christmas balls.
Poor Blake was so drunk that he really didn’t care,
But the balls our elf wanted were Blake’s very own pair.
Blake surely regretted his drinking and fun,
For this elf really beat him and easily won.
Blake drank to excess, it surely does seem,
But we really enjoyed this, with the elf of our dreams.
This match was one-sided and Blake’s dream filled with fright,
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night.
Company holiday parties always produce at least one drunk dumbass and the one hosted by W4H this year was no exception. This one showed Blake Starr as being the drunkest man at the party. He stumbles into the mat room so wasted that he thinks he’s in his bedroom. He also thinks it’s night, but the daylight shining brightly through the window indicates otherwise. He’s shocked to see the sexiest elf ever sitting on a stool waiting for him. He keeps asking the elf who he is, only to have the elf reply that he’s a gift from Santa. A gift from Santa? Who wouldn’t want that? Especially this sexy little gift. We’d gladly unwrap his package anytime! He may be small in height, but he’s got a pair of gorgeous bright eyes, a stunning smile from ear-to-ear, black leather boots, muscles everywhere, and a very sexy pair of silver wrestling trunks that show off his personal package, which is anything but small. This elf received a little of Santa’s magic when his manhood was created. WOOF!
As Blake stumbles around the room, our elf, none other than W4H’s own Ricky Vegas, gives him a present he will remember all year. The present isn’t one that can be opened, but still will be memorable. It was the ass-whopping of the year. Normally, Blake would destroy Ricky in a match, giving his height and strength advantage, but in his extremely intoxicated condition, handsome Ricky as the advantage – and takes it. He strips Blake down to his cute little undies and uses this drunk fool as his play toy. Blake is beaten and pounded and subjected to twisting holds, a painful Boston crab, chokes, elbows, and anything else Ricky chooses to do to him, including squeezing Blake’s personal ‘Christmas balls.’
The next day surely brought a record hangover for Blake. To make matters worse, every muscle in his body was aching and his balls were in excruciating pain. Did he think it was all from his incredible state of intoxication? Did he think it was all a bad dream or nightmare? Did he actually remember getting his ass kicked relentlessly by Ricky Vegas? It doesn’t matter. Mean Blake got a present from Santa that was worse than coal in his stocking. Much worse. That must be what happens when you’re the company’s drunk dumbass. We just wish Santa would send sexy Ricky to us. That’s one gorgeous elf!!!
TOTAL RUN-TIME: 22 minutes, 19 seconds